So if anyone out there has been watching, you may have noticed that I haven’t updated this in a while… I guess I just sort of lost sight of my goals.
Is it strange to be slightly afraid of losing weight? It’s not that I’m “comfortable” in my current weight, but I’m afraid I won’t feel the same about myself once I drop it… As I’ve told you before, I’ve never been below 200… and even at that weight I remember getting a TON more attention than I do now. From men, people who “can’t believe I did it, omg!” and just everyone in general…. being fat is like wearing a cloak of invisibility, people love to ignore you or treat you like a last resort.
For so many people that is a giant reason why they’re trying to lose weight- to be noticed. But I already get noticed quite a lot because I’m a fairly outgoing and boisterous person….so whenever I drop down in lbs, I sort of go into overload mode and can’t handle it. Because along with the positive attention, comes the negative.
I always told Marius that I might not feel comfortable at my goal weight- it might scare me….but he never really ‘gets’ that idea….
In any event, I am hoping to get to the YMCA and sign up for a membership this week. I’m determined to start working out some more, I just plain miss being active. (I say underneath the covers on my couch with my cat…..hah.)
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